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Jan
Challis Miller
Featured Poet
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Jan
Challis Miller
A
Featured Poet from Poetry
Now Magazine
I was
born in 1941 and have been
writing for as long as I
can remember.
When I
retired I was able to
concentrate on my hobby
and I have been fortunate
enough to have stories and
articles accepted for
women's magazines and also
specialist magazines. I
have been widely published
as a poet in national
anthologies, and my
writing group, the
Waterfront Writers,
recently had their second
anthology published by
Forward Press. I get my
inspiration from real
life. For instance,
recently I was in hospital
after being diagnosed with
ovarian cancer. I used the
time to write poetry, one
example of which is below.
For me, there is always a
funny, sunny side to life.
Being positive is what
it's all about. I do have
my philosophical moments
though, as you can see.
Yo,
Heave Ho!
I was at the blunt end, the rest were up the front end,
when someone shouted out, 'Avast behind!'
I turned and saw a sailor who was busy with a baler,
and I said, all hoity-toity, 'Do you mind!
Just get busy with your spigot, you overweightist bigot.
My bum is my affair, you cheeky pup!'
There was more I cold remind him, then I saw what was behind him,
a dirty great big liner coming up!
It was poised high in the water, somewhere off our nether quarter.
The sailor turned a sickly, greenish hue.
He dashed off for the side, 'A wave!' he faintly cried.
'Oh well, if you insist,' I said. 'Who to?'
I couldn't catch his answer as he flew up like a dancer,
it was lost as a great whistling round us roared.
I looked up at the liner, named Elizabeth Regina,
and I thought, oh good, they're piping me aboard!
I'll just go and ask our driver (and slip him a quick fiver)
to park the boat. Well, what a funny guy!
On his answer I'll not dwell, but it included hell,
and instructions to go forth and multiply!
Dear me, I thought, how touchy! It was plain to see how much he
resented being there. He looked quite grim.
Still, I'm nothing if not cheerful when I've just received an earful,
so I joked, 'Is it a case of sink or swim?'
I think he had psychosis or a form of bad neurosis.
I judged it best to leave him then and go.
So amidst the flying china I went back to find the liner,
and signal them a most regretful 'No.'
The top floor was strangely hushed as the sea around me gushed,
and it looked as though there could have been a flood.
Still, it didn't bother me, I was bred for this, you see.
It's so good to have seafaring in your blood!
The
Dancing Lesson
I want to learn to dance, I thought, but what was it to be?
Belly? Ballet? Rhythm? Tap? The choice was up to me.
I went down to the dancing school and watched them strut their stuff,
The men were cool, the ladies shone with many a sequinned ruff,
The teacher said 'I'll show you how, you'll soon be whirling round.'
St Vitas taught me how to dance, my feet don't leave the ground!'
I ran into his open arms, he came up to my chest,
Oh well, I thought, I'll be the man, he'll have to do his best.
'I'll have to be the boy,' I said. 'You're much too short, you see.
You have my dress, I'll wear your suit, that is, if you agree.'
So off we went, he me, me he, we Charleston'd, tapped and bopped,
And when the fancy took us we boogied and hip-hopped.
The others gathered round us and cheered our flying feet.
Our talent was unchallenged, our act was hard to beat.
We grooved on down, we tried the lot, we quickstepped and fandango'd,
But at the splits we packed it
in, you know when you've been
tango'd!
The
Marmalade Cat
These are my colours,
mixed.
I am a dandelion
and a buttercup.
I am a scarlet and white daisy,
blended in nature's palette
so that cream streaks to red
in my colour circle.
Subtle graduations,
where amber hues predominate.
I am a marmalade cat,
made with oranges and lemons,
fashioned out of fire and velvet.
The world's teacher
in a million dimensions.
I have imprinted my colours
in a sunlit heaven,
and my brilliance is forever.
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