Poetry and Creative Writing for All

Simon Staff

	Simon Staff won our Top 5 Poems of the Month Online Competition - June 2006

I am twenty-nine years old and live in a quiet village in rural Lincolnshire. At the age of 25, suffering from Paranoid Schizophrenia and a subsequent heroin addiction, I was sectioned for two and a half years under the mental health act.

During my illness, I began to use writing as a vent for my feelings and emotions, which at the beginning, were often very confused and dark. A lot of my early work was dictated to me by my voices. When I now look back at my writing, I can chart my road to recovery. As my mental health improved, my writing became more lucid and less connected with religion and the fight between good and evil.

My illness and past drugs use has influenced me a lot and has changed the person I have become – hopefully for the better. With the use of medication, I have now made a full recovery, life is shining and I continue to write. I hope to be able to compile some of my poems for use by others in a similar situation to which I found myself. My words will not change the universe, neither am I the next Shakespeare, but they are my words and my feelings!

I hope that others with mental health problems (and also families / carers) can find relevance between my thoughts and theirs. To a person with no history or knowledge of mental health problems, a lot of my words may seem nonsensical and appear jumbled and confused, but it is surprising how similar themes appear time and time again in the minds of the ill. I hope that I am proof that there can be light at the end of that tunnel, even when it feels that there can be none. Maybe my words will encourage others to put pen to their thoughts and emotions, as I believe this to be a great healer. There is no right or wrong in words or thoughts, they are yours and yours alone!

Saviour from the Skies

Just as I thought that all was lost, the fight to live was gone
He stepped down from his spaceship and told me I was wrong
Smiling down upon me, so tall, eyes dark as pools
Said quitting is for losers and doubting just for fools

He said I am your saviour; your life from now will change
For I’ve been sent to rid this world of hate and greed and pain
He took my hand as though a child and led me far away
I smiled and uttered quietly that I knew he’d come some day 

Each burnt out stump he brushed against, grew and sprouted green
The rancid pools he knelt beside, became so crystal clean
I stared into my saviours face with eyes so full of awe
A million questions in my head, but still he showed me more

He laid his hands upon the brows of dying in the street
At once their illness vanished, rose quickly to their feet
Rivers flowed where once were none and bluebirds soared the skies
People gladly sharing food, no babies’ hungry cries

At last his work was over, a heaven created from hell
I asked him to explain to me, I needed him to tell
What is it you would ask me, he said with smiling face
I asked if he were Jesus, why he’d come to save this place

Who I am is unimportant, don’t look to heavens above
See what has been and what could be with just a little love
A world that’s full of anger and hate, will eat itself away
A world which is loved, with a people that care, will see another day

My time with you is over and very soon I’ll leave
You all must carry on this task, spread love and self-belief
For every heart you touch with love, a hundred more will shine
This world will become a true paradise until the end of time

Then just as quick as he’d found me, I turned and he was gone
He’d left us a garden of Eden, air filled with evening bird song
I nervously looked around me, saw a thousand smiles so wide
I knew that we really could finish the task, of our saviour from the skies 

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Overcome

As I sit alone in a sea of sadness
I try to overcome this stream of madness
I remember the times in my youth
I try to rediscover my own truth

I see all the visions I need to see
I try not to let them control me
In times of stress, I’ve slit my wrists
I try these days not to make a suicide list

Times are so very hard for us all
With our backs up tight against the wall
With an apocalyptic sound against my door
I collapse and fall right onto the floor

With love in my heart and darkness outside
I seriously try so hard to glide
With my heart wide open and sun in the sky
I try so very hard to fly

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Finding

Finding your way is hard
It’s like buttering your bread with lard
Finding yourself –
Looking for the right book on the shelf

Horror, fiction or crime
Bitter lemon without lime
Not understanding the time

Is it fate, or have I left it too late?
Is it love, or do I hate?
Finding a true soul that could be a mate

It’s a new horizon
Get up and surprise them
Don’t let life get you down
One day you could wear the crown

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Drugs

When I was young, I used to think of the sun
It drove me mad, it drove me insane
I turned to drugs
Heroin was the one, to pass the days and settle my mind
It doesn’t work, I’ll always be mad
There’s time for you to play again and choose life
Don’t worry if the sun doesn’t shine
Don’t worry if the day is a grind

Keep together, keep praying, and keep going, life doesn’t stop
I don’t want you my friends to end up like me, as it hurts
I can ease the pain and help you fly again
Don’t let them bring you down
As the drugs don’t really work
They just bring you down and delude you
And everyone’s impressionable

It’s hard to stay focused; it’s hard not to cry
But love exists upon the night, when we all ride our darkest fears
Until the day he returns into our lives, keep clean and easy
As it is our time and the drugs don’t work
We don’t need that
They split my family, they split my head
Please love life and don’t be dead

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Labels

He fears his voices, in case he believes,
He hates those thoughts, normality leaves,
No more medication, just leave him alone,
He wants rid of this label, he needs to get home.

He wants to be normal, just like all around,
He wants to stop thinking, just veg on the ground,
No more thought conflict, to be at his best,
He needs to be average, fit in with the rest.

He craves their approval, needs to be loved,
He wants to believe in their God up above,
No more questioning, just learn to accept,
He hides his bright mind, to stand out inept.

He is a man, with the gentlest of soul,
He is loving and caring, makes empty lives whole,
No malice inside, befriends all he meets,
He brings smiles to the faces, of all in the street.

His voices make him special, not like the rest,
His deep thinking a Godsend, he really is blessed,
Others should learn that label’s a drain,
His burden’s no burden but a brilliant brain.

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Submission Guidelines: Poems of no more than 30 lines in length each will be considered.